Many times when couples are asked if they trust one another, they reply "Of course! I could never imagine that my partner would cheat on me." But the truth is that infidelity is not the only indicator of betrayal in a relationship. Obviously trust has to exist for the "big ticket items" of a relationship (i.e. Will my partner be faithful? Will my partner support my career successes?), but it also needs to exist on a day to day basis.
When a partner can trust their significant other to carry through on small promises (whether it be taking out the trash or hiring a babysitter), it signifies selflessness and a true ability for his/her significant other to be there for him/her. Trust is the foundation that allows the couple to work as a team.
Of course, trust cannot be built overnight. The phrase is "building trust" for a reason. For something to be built, it requires work, diligence, and patience. Here are three ways to build trust in a relationship:
1) Be open with your partner - Express to your partner what you need from them. Don't expect him or her to do the guess work to figure out what is important to you. This can help your partner understand what your expectations are and meet them better. On the flipside, don't be afraid to tell your partner no. If your partner asks you to do something, and you are not a fan of it, be upfront about it. The more that you communicate to your partner about your wants, needs, and limitations the easier it will be for your partner to trust you.
2) Be authentic - Show your partner your flaws and your insecurities. Chances are your partner will open up to you if you open up to them. If you can't be authentic with your partner, who can you be authentic with?
3) Accept that your partner will make mistakes - Have realistic expectations. Your partner is human after all. Although it is important for your partner to be there for you and work with you as a team, recognize that your partner might not always be able to meet all of your expectations and that's okay. At the end of the day, trust is learned and earned. Communicating to your partner about what is important to you will help them make those things their priorities too.
For more reading on trust in relationships, check out What Makes Love Last? by John Gottman and Nan Silver.
When a partner can trust their significant other to carry through on small promises (whether it be taking out the trash or hiring a babysitter), it signifies selflessness and a true ability for his/her significant other to be there for him/her. Trust is the foundation that allows the couple to work as a team.
Trust removes an enormous source of stress because it allows you to act with incomplete information. You don’t subject your mind and body to constant worry, so the complexity of your decision making plummets. -John Gottman & Nan Silver
Of course, trust cannot be built overnight. The phrase is "building trust" for a reason. For something to be built, it requires work, diligence, and patience. Here are three ways to build trust in a relationship:1) Be open with your partner - Express to your partner what you need from them. Don't expect him or her to do the guess work to figure out what is important to you. This can help your partner understand what your expectations are and meet them better. On the flipside, don't be afraid to tell your partner no. If your partner asks you to do something, and you are not a fan of it, be upfront about it. The more that you communicate to your partner about your wants, needs, and limitations the easier it will be for your partner to trust you.
2) Be authentic - Show your partner your flaws and your insecurities. Chances are your partner will open up to you if you open up to them. If you can't be authentic with your partner, who can you be authentic with?
3) Accept that your partner will make mistakes - Have realistic expectations. Your partner is human after all. Although it is important for your partner to be there for you and work with you as a team, recognize that your partner might not always be able to meet all of your expectations and that's okay. At the end of the day, trust is learned and earned. Communicating to your partner about what is important to you will help them make those things their priorities too.
For more reading on trust in relationships, check out What Makes Love Last? by John Gottman and Nan Silver.
No comments:
Post a Comment